Pity those whom nature abuses, never those who abuse nature.

He is the very pineapple of politeness.

A circulating library in a town is as an evergreen tree of diabolical knowledge.

When of a gossiping circle it was asked, "What are they doing?" The answer was, "Swapping lies.

An aspersion upon my parts of speech!

Won't you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you.

A bumper of good liquor Will end a contest quicker Than justice, judge or vicar.

An unforgiving eye, and a damned disinheriting countenance!

Fertilizer does no good in a heap, but a little spread around works miracles all over.

Never say more than is necessary.

The surest way not to fail is to determine to succeed.

The tragedy of life, Howard, is not that the beautiful die young, but that they grow old and mean. It will not happen to me.

In every life story, including our own, decisions are made in haste that determine the course of eternity.

A lie should be tried in a place where it will attract the attention of the world.

I am always grieved when a man of real talent dies. The world needs such men more than Heaven does.

Look out for your baby or your friend, of course. That is easy. The test of moral fiber is to stick up for those you relate to least, understand minimally, and do not think are that much like you.

Magicians have taken something intrinsically profound and made it look trivial.

Quarrels in France strengthen a love affair, in America they end it.

I used to have a phrase: Liberalism is spreading misery equally. And now the ruling class throughout Washington seems to have adopted this.

All human beings have magic in them. The secret is to know how to use this magic.

Too many Christians live their Christian lives inside their heads; it never gets out through hands and feet and lips.