Personal technology has given us the freedom of being able to do whatever we want - and in the case of celebrities and athletes, whomever they want. But it can also serve as a humiliation jetpack.

Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.

Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who know where their high school yearbook is and those who do not.

If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can't afford to be with them.

Unless you are a professional, you will find the tart to be a high-maintenance, unforgiving whistle-blower of a pastry.

I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job.

Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live.

No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note.

Uniqueness is wasted on youth. Like fine wine or a solid flossing habit, you'll be grateful for it when you're older.

I like to try to do a little work before I do anything in the morning, even if it's a paragraph.

I must keep my head and not give in to desire, for desire is what causes women to drown.

I think we do need a Constitutional amendment to take the profit out of politics by imposing term limits.

And I love Evander Holyfield to death!

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone.

I really do. I don't see it as a kind of elite experience - it's our biggest organ. We need to see a dermatologist and have them really look at our skin and figure out what's going on.

I've made many films and only a few times I've played real people.

He was suffering from the loss of an illusion.

Tomorrow when you come to work, if it doesn't make the customer happy, move the business forward, and save us money - don't do it.

Sin hath broke the world's sweet peace--unstrung Th' harmonious chords to which the angels sung.

It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness. As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.