One [television] program was an interminable exploration of the question: can a woman with a low I.Q. be happily married to a man with a high one? The answer seemed to be yes and no.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Do not look for happiness outside yourself. The awakened seek happiness inside.

A woman without her sister is like a bird without her wings.

You're a good man, Charlie Brown.

When I die, I want to die in a Utopia that I have helped to build.

I still get nervous when I have a lot of makeup on, a big hairdo, and a dress.

I think it's a really sad situation when I have to lie to my doctor about what I need a medication for.

I like to believe that we all pray to the same god.

I got Lamborghini dreams Nissan nightmares Moving white my ice cool as the night air.

Treat yourself at least as well as you treat other people.

We justify ourselves when we should judge ourselves. If we learned humility, it might spare us the humiliation.