Nowhere in the world is safe," Count Olaf said. Not with you around," Violet agreed. I'm no worse than anyone else," Count Olaf said.

Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.

Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.

Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.

I didn't realize this was a sad occasion.

They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby - awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.

The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.

Accidents happen all the time.

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.

Life is long and dumb and devastating. People should believe whatever they need to believe to get by.

It is true that in general, energy which is aimed at positive factors usually obtains better results than energy invested in resistance!

Why are we embarassed by silence? What comfort do we find in all the noise?

Anyone can talk,    but to listen is a gift,      we should all exchange

Writers may be disreputable, incorrigible, early to decay or late to bloom but they dare to go it alone.

Down in their hearts, wise men know this truth: the only way to help yourself is to help others.

Take one step to the side and it's all absurd.

Determine where you are going and how you will get there will become obvious.

What is God after all? An eternal child playing an eternal game in an eternal garden.

Wisdom is the health of the soul.