No wonder Sherlock Holmes did all that coke. Math is hard.

Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.

The place looks like where David Lynch would meet Beaver Cleaver's mom for secret afternoons of bondage and milkshakes.

I'm steel-toed boots in a ballet-slipper world.

That's what Glocks are. High-precision killing machines that scream "Daddy Issues.

He wore his fear on his skin for everyone to see.

When you jump off a cliff, is it better to land on jagged rocks or burning lava? I know this one. The answer is obvious: It doesn't matter where you land. You just jumped off a cliff.

Enemies will kill you with a knife in the back. Friends will kill you with kindness. Either way you're dead.

I came ready to fight Genghis Khan and I walk in on a shut-in playing the biggest Dungeons and Dragons game in history.

If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.

Don't drink too much." "When I can spell out your name in shot glasses, I'll stop." "I'll have to get a shorter name." "I'll have to forget how to spell it.

May we think of freedom not as the right to do as we please but as the opportunity to do what is right.

Drink deep the cup of life

Do you remember the time, Mike, ” Jeremy laughed, “that you put a banana down your pants and walked up to the Palma-nator. It looked like you had one hell of a hard-on.

Each year over 2,500 commercial vessels enter the Port of Hampton Roads alone, so adequate funding for port security is a significant issue for those of us who live in Richmond and Hampton Roads.

The ribbons! The wrappings! The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!

The more you devote yourself to study of the sacred utterances, the richer will be your understanding of them, just as the more the soil is tilled, the richer the harvest.

I think that every new record is a chance to... I think what it is for me is my heart and soul at that moment in time... I've always felt that just being able to make a record is a privilege.

I support all people on earth who have bodies like and unlike my body, skins and moles and old scars, secret and public hair, crooked toes. I support those who have done nothing large.

It just feels like Erwin and me... even at night I don't feel I have to look pretty in bed.

You don't need to have extraordinary effort to achieve extraordinary results. You just need to do the ordinary, everyday things exceptionally well.