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Richard Kadrey Quotes

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Richard Kadrey Quotes: "The place looks like where David Lynch would meet Beaver Cleaver's mom for secret afternoons of bondage and milkshakes."

The place looks like where David Lynch would meet Beaver Cleaver's mom for secret afternoons of bondage and milkshakes.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "I'm steel-toed boots in a ballet-slipper world."

I'm steel-toed boots in a ballet-slipper world.




Richard Kadrey Quotes: "That's what Glocks are. High-precision killing machines that scream "Daddy Issues."

That's what Glocks are. High-precision killing machines that scream "Daddy Issues.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "He wore his fear on his skin for everyone to see."

He wore his fear on his skin for everyone to see.




Richard Kadrey Quotes: "When you jump off a cliff, is it better to land on jagged rocks or burning lava? I know this one. The answer is obvious: It doesn't matter where you land. You just jumped off a cliff."

When you jump off a cliff, is it better to land on jagged rocks or burning lava? I know this one. The answer is obvious: It doesn't matter where you land. You just jumped off a cliff.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "Enemies will kill you with a knife in the back. Friends will kill you with kindness. Either way you're dead."

Enemies will kill you with a knife in the back. Friends will kill you with kindness. Either way you're dead.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "I came ready to fight Genghis Khan and I walk in on a shut-in playing the biggest Dungeons and Dragons game in history."

I came ready to fight Genghis Khan and I walk in on a shut-in playing the biggest Dungeons and Dragons game in history.




Richard Kadrey Quotes: "If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos."

If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "No wonder Sherlock Holmes did all that coke. Math is hard."

No wonder Sherlock Holmes did all that coke. Math is hard.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "Don't drink too much." "When I can spell out your name in shot glasses, I'll stop." "I'll have to get a shorter name." "I'll have to forget how to spell it."

Don't drink too much." "When I can spell out your name in shot glasses, I'll stop." "I'll have to get a shorter name." "I'll have to forget how to spell it.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "Love a man who'll bleed to make a point. (Candy)"

Love a man who'll bleed to make a point. (Candy)



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "If his drunkenness had legs, it would be Alexander the Great and conquer the known world. Then it would puke for a week into a solid gold toilet it stole from Zeus's guest room."

If his drunkenness had legs, it would be Alexander the Great and conquer the known world. Then it would puke for a week into a solid gold toilet it stole from Zeus's guest room.




Richard Kadrey Quotes: "Did I hurt your feelings again? Sorry. When this is all over I'll send some flowers to your inner child."

Did I hurt your feelings again? Sorry. When this is all over I'll send some flowers to your inner child.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "Twenty percent? What am I, your waiter? I got you five vampires, not a BLT."

Twenty percent? What am I, your waiter? I got you five vampires, not a BLT.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "Chasing a burning girl down a city street is a lot harder than it sounds. Civilians tend to stop and stare and this turns them into human bowling pins. Slow whiny bowling pins."

Chasing a burning girl down a city street is a lot harder than it sounds. Civilians tend to stop and stare and this turns them into human bowling pins. Slow whiny bowling pins.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "Let me finish my beer." (Stark) "Of course. The end of the world can wait.(Kasabian)"

Let me finish my beer." (Stark) "Of course. The end of the world can wait.(Kasabian)



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "All losers are romantics. It's what keeps us from blowing our brains out."

All losers are romantics. It's what keeps us from blowing our brains out.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "I tap a Malediction out of the box, fire it up, and puff. It tastes like a tire fire in a candy factory next door to a strip club. The best cigarettes ever."

I tap a Malediction out of the box, fire it up, and puff. It tastes like a tire fire in a candy factory next door to a strip club. The best cigarettes ever.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "I'd like to think they're staring at me because of my white-hot animal magnetism, but I'm not Elvis. I'm Lobster Boy, hear me roar."

I'd like to think they're staring at me because of my white-hot animal magnetism, but I'm not Elvis. I'm Lobster Boy, hear me roar.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "We must always look after our friends, even when they are foolish. Especially when they are foolish."

We must always look after our friends, even when they are foolish. Especially when they are foolish.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "In this life, no matter what anyone promises you, what allegiances of love or fealty they swear or what gods they pray to, you will never have more than what you have at this moment."

In this life, no matter what anyone promises you, what allegiances of love or fealty they swear or what gods they pray to, you will never have more than what you have at this moment.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "Don't talk. Kill it." That might be the sweetest thing a woman's ever said to me on a first date."

Don't talk. Kill it." That might be the sweetest thing a woman's ever said to me on a first date.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "If I learned anything Downtown, it's this: the only real difference between an enemy and a friend is the day of the week."

If I learned anything Downtown, it's this: the only real difference between an enemy and a friend is the day of the week.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "I can deal with fighting in the arena in Hell, but laundry and dishes put the fear of God in me."

I can deal with fighting in the arena in Hell, but laundry and dishes put the fear of God in me.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "Being able to embrace contradictions is a sign of intelligence. Or insanity."

Being able to embrace contradictions is a sign of intelligence. Or insanity.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "God is the great janitor of the universe. Why things don't work is that we have a janitor in charge, and we keep looking for the landlord."

God is the great janitor of the universe. Why things don't work is that we have a janitor in charge, and we keep looking for the landlord.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "The ashes of your existence will fertilize the soil for the universe to follow."

The ashes of your existence will fertilize the soil for the universe to follow.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "I've come a long way to get nowhere at all, I thought. And I've spent everything I have to get here."

I've come a long way to get nowhere at all, I thought. And I've spent everything I have to get here.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "Try not to sing too many sad songs for yourself. The universe already hates you. Self-pity isn't going to help."

Try not to sing too many sad songs for yourself. The universe already hates you. Self-pity isn't going to help.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "When you're born in a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire. But it's not."

When you're born in a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire. But it's not.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "Don't drink too much.""When I can spell out your name in shot glasses, I'll stop.""I'll have to get a shorter name.""I'll have to forget how to spell it."

Don't drink too much.""When I can spell out your name in shot glasses, I'll stop.""I'll have to get a shorter name.""I'll have to forget how to spell it.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "Don't talk. Kill it."That might be the sweetest thing a woman's ever said to me on a first date."

Don't talk. Kill it."That might be the sweetest thing a woman's ever said to me on a first date.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "Nothing nice happens to murdered women."

Nothing nice happens to murdered women.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "Hell didn't make me a monster. It just confirmed all my worst fears about myself."

Hell didn't make me a monster. It just confirmed all my worst fears about myself.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "Being able to embrace contradictions is a sign of intelligence.Or insanity."

Being able to embrace contradictions is a sign of intelligence.Or insanity.



Richard Kadrey Quotes: "If you ever need to confirm that a girl is worth coming back from Hell for, show her your monster arm and see what she says."

If you ever need to confirm that a girl is worth coming back from Hell for, show her your monster arm and see what she says.