Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils: people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing.

We were so poor we had no hot water. But it didn't matter because we had no bathtub to put it in anyway.

You have to remember, Frank Sinatra is 82 years old, which is 240 in your years. He's lived three lifetimes! He has good and bad days. He can't run ... around as fast as he used to.

Sometimes in my tent, last at night, I think I can hear the stars scraping, against the sky.

God would never make man in his image, because that would then make him as vain as what man is.

Remember, truth cannot be conquered. One has to surrender to truth, one has to be conquered by truth.

I don't think the public is dying to see me necessarily be funny all the time.

Uncollected sales taxes on Internet purchases cost the states more than $16 billion in 2001.

Even God cannot make two times two not make four.

The busier we are, the more acutely we feel that we live, the more conscious we are of life.

I've been a dad since I was nineteen, so I think a lot about fatherhood and the power of that sacrifice in your life.

Mother Teresa had a mustache. Hitler had a mustache. Mother Teresa is Hitler.

There is no disgrace in peace. There can never be dishonor in peace.