It's the world's smallest violin, playing 'My Heart Pumps Purple Piss for You.'

Sometimes I think we'd all be better off if the people who mean well would just creep away and die.

Given that life is so short, do I really want to spend one-ninetieth of my remaining days on earth reading Edward Gibbon?

God is the world's oldest poet

You are the salt of the earth. But remember that salt is useful when in association, but useless in isolation.

I certainly hope I'm not still answering child-star questions by the time I reach menopause.

I wrote it the right way, so it was copied the wrong way right. I mean the right way wrong.

As a teacher I approach my students purely with the human desire to free them from all scholarly inhibitions, and I tell them, "Painters must speak through paint not through words."

I'm embarrassed to say that I don't have a lot of hobbies. It's not because I don't have interests, it's just that I don't have the time.

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone, and so hold on when there is nothing in you except the will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

In America, there is no racial segregation. I'm not sure I'm quite familiar with this phrase.

The most extraordinary thing about writing is that when you've struck the right vein, tiredness goes. It must be an effort, thinking wrong.