It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness poverty and wealth have both failed.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Repeat the mantra: Writing is when I make the words. Editing is when I make them not shitty.

Sometimes you have to open yourself to the random possibilities of, I guess, destiny.

I do different work, teaching and running around visiting universities and bookstores, and that prevents me from writing. But it's nice to be wanted as a writer.

Oh blind! Oh ignorant, self-seeking cupidity which spurs us so in the short mortal life and steeps us so through all eternity!

If you're creative, they let you be the showrunner, producer. The first thing my partner and I did as producers was hire ourselves as directors - because who else would hire me?

The bad news is that 50 people died in a hotel fire; the good news is that we got exclusive footage.

No company in the world would be satisfied with less sales, less customers or less jobs just because it's supposed to be good for the environment.

I am ten different kinds of badass now! [Alucard Hellsing]

The task of a judge is not to make the law - it is to apply the law.

A nation, as a society, forms a moral person, and every member of it is personally responsible for his society.