It is a characteristic of the weak and criminal to attribute to others the misfortunes that are the result of their own wickedness.

When Tarzan killed he more often smiled than scowled, and smiles are the foundation of beauty.

If I had followed my better judgment always, my life would have been a very dull one.

I have been successful probably because I have always realized that I knew nothing about writing and have merely tried to tell an interesting story entertainingly.

If you write one story, it may be bad; if you write a hundred, you have the odds in your favor.

The more one listens to ordinary conversations the more apparent it becomes that the reasoning faculties of the brain take little part in the direction of the vocal organs.

So strong is the power of superstition that even though we know that we have been reverencing a sham, yet still we hesitate to admit the validity of our new-found convictions.

I do not think that I am ever overconfident. I am merely wholly confident, and I maintain that there is all the difference in the world there.

Golf is a mental disorder.

Am I alive and a reality, or am I but a dream?

You are here for but an instant, and you mustn't take yourself too seriously

He read while he walked. He read while he ate. The other librarians suspected he somehow read while he slept, or perhaps didn't sleep at all.

Gender imbalance is, at its root, a collective spiritual crisis.

Sometimes I bust out and do things so permanent. Like tattoos and marriage.

A fan is a fan is a friend no matter what current he/she/it operates on, AC or DC. Thanks for being one of mine.

God has the tough end of the deal. What if instead of planting the seed you had to make the tree? That would keep you up late at night, trying to figure that one out.

Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

Photography's central sense of purpose and aesthetic: the precise and lucid description of significant fact.

Did I not tell you earlier that a Jew is such a noble, precious jewel that God and all the angels dance when he farts?

I'm a man. I lived it and I'm not afraid to die but when I die I'm going to paradise and I'm not worried.