If women ruled the world and we all got massages, there would be no war.

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase: if you pursue happiness you'll never find it.

Remember that the successful marriage depends on two things: (1) finding the right person and (2) being the right person.

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?

Science is the refusal to believe on the basis of hope.

I'd like to get married because I like the idea of a man being required by law to sleep with me every night.

No day is so bad that it can not be fixed by a good nap.

I'd like to have a boyfriend in prison so I'd always know where he is.

No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap.

Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other.

Your dreaming self seeks to tell you something your waking ears will not hear

My ambition is to have beautiful encounters, not to make money.

When I'm not working, I dress like a surfer. I look like I'm going to come into your house and clean your pool.

Fly not yet; 't is just the hour When pleasure, like the midnight flower That scorns the eye of vulgar light, Begins to bloom for sons of night And maids who love the moon.

The things of nature are the Lord's silent ministers, given to us to teach us spiritual truths. They speak to us of the love of God and declare the wisdom of the great Master Artist.

The secret of happiness lies in the mind's release from worldly ties.

Happiness is temporary and fleeting. ... Joy is the right goal.

We don't want any adventures here! You might try over the Hill or Across the Water.

There are two main jobs in acting - the first one is to be a good actor, and the second one is to convince everyone that you're a good actor.

The best recreation is to do good.