If God wanted you to putt cross-handed, he would have made your left arm longer.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

Is there such depravity in man as that he should injure another without benefit to himself?

say what you feeldon't hold back because if you don't you will regret it

It is good for us to keep some account of our prayers that we may not unsay them in our practice.

We play it differently now. If we did the album now it would be different.

the Empire State Building was tall. So what? Just proved New York builders didn't know when to stop at a good story.

Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.

The harder you work, the luckier you get.

There is no such thing as a minor lapse of integrity

Courage, an independent spark from heaven's bright throne, by which the soul stands raised, triumphant, high, alone.

My joy will be in serving.