I wonder how many people have been killed, tortured, and in some cases cannibalized, all because certain Christians (mis)applied the book of Joshua to their lives.

Before we apply Joshua to our lives, we need to make sure which side of the Jordan we are living on. Militarism invites God's wrath.

As long as you know 'to let' means to rent and not a place to pee, you’re all set to travel in the UK. The lifts and the boots and everything else don’t really matter.

Make sure your subconscious knows you love it by stroking it until it purrs.

Friendship make me feel this world is loving place to stay and have known the pain of missing this wonderful gift.

A politician divides mankind into two classes: tools and enemies.

I have so many evil plans, I'm just trying to find the one which would be best right now!

I know that people think I'm a party king; but, face it, if I finished the bottle every time I took a drink, I wouldn't be able to do the aerials I do onstage.

THE GUYS IN THE OLD DAYS WHO BELIEVED THE EARTH WAS ROUND MUST HAVE HAD A VERY ROUGH TIME WITH ACADEMIA

I think we deserve a happily-ever-after." "If anyone ever did, it's us.

The greatest thing we can do to be closer to our own lives and to the freshness of living is to open up again.

I said it was my feeling that the American people would struggle for peace, and that has since been underscored by the President of these United States.