I won't mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn't heard.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.

Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people.

The key to happiness is being happy with who you are and enjoying the life you are living.

There are no doubts that western governments are willfully inducing radiation sickness into segments of their city populations.

Joy is the highest expression of love.

Every authentic poem contributes to the labour of poetry... to bring together what life has separated or violence has torn apart.

The only way you can be free is to know is that you are worthwhile as a distinct human being.

If I can take on 100,000 protesters, I can do the same across the world.

What goes too long unchanged destroys itself.

In France, a first lady has no status, and therefore she isn't supposed to do anything else.

Good is not good when better is expected.

I tell you there is such a thing as creative hate.