I want Apple to continue to innovate. I want them to be on time. I want them to be leaders. And my big concern with Apple recently has been they can't build what they're designing.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

Art is my life and my life is art.

I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am.

People kill very important people to change the season in their life.

How could he maintain the apology in his eyes without getting carried away by her cherubic innocence?

My wife goes to Birmingham five times a week. My mom lives in Birmingham now after moving from Myrtle Beach. It's not just the job. A lot of people don't get that. My life is here.

I think you manifest what you believe, and when you believe that you have no choice you lose choice.

Obtain from yourself all that makes complaining useless. No longer implore from others what you yourself can obtain.

One of life's quiet excitements is to stand somewhat apart from yourself and watch yourself softly becoming the author of something beautiful even if it is only a floating ash.

It is Stoicism that demands a closed universe, not the Bible.

I'm drawn to more than I'm allowed to do or asked to do, or probably should do. My whole career has been comedy, of a kind. I guess I've always existed in that world.