I think I'm becoming a psychologist in explaining the Republican Party. It's the only way you can explain 'em. It's psychological.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

If you knew that your time is your life, you would protect it as much as you protect your life.

Ellysetta Baristani." Belliard's voice caused her to stop and turn back around. "Even should you clothe yourself in rags and dirt, you would bring honor to the Fey.

Wasn't the whole point of being an artist, or at least part of it, that you didn't have to wear a tie?

The bliss of blessedness!

When you win an election, what you really win is a chance to go to work for working families who need a voice in Minnesota.

History does not so much repeat as echo, I suppose.

We do not determine right or wrong based on what everybody else is doing.

I think Hollywood's gotten more reactionary and conservative over the years, because there's no longer art in Hollywood. Art suffers in Hollywood.

I was really gifted at being able to construct a joke, but it's like they weren't even memorable, my first jokes, because they were so about nothing.

Tell Allen I plead guilty to vampirism and other crimes against life. But I love him and nothing else cancels love.