I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going to retire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'

My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character.

The older I get, the faster I was.

I don't know anything about Angola, but Angola's in trouble.

I don't care what people think. people are stupid.

We don't need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do.

I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I've got a technique. It's called just go get the damn ball.

Poor people have been voting for Democrats for the last 50 years and they're still poor.

They run like deer, jump like deer and think like deer.

There's only 5 real jobs in the world. Teacher, fireman, policeman, doctor and somebody who is in the armed service. If you don't have one of those 5 jobs, you shouldn't take your life that serious.

I don't believe professional athletes should be role models. I believe parents should be role models.

You are constantly becoming what you have been deserving to be, and if you do not like the scripting, you have all the means to change it for better.

God finds a way to weave even your mistakes into the fabric of a brighter future if you let Him.

Humans are not made for endless light. Humans need their darknesses.

I believe if you want to build up to something, you have to start somewhere - you have to start today and maybe tomorrow won't exist.

When an actress takes off her clothes onscreen but a nursing mother is told to leave, what message do we send about the roles of women?

Public opinion is the pennant on a nation's mast which shows the politician and the editor how to trim the sails.

When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.

Something really is wrong with me. And I don't know what it is.

No brain is stronger than its weakest think.