I recollect it was settled by general consent that India was quite a misrepresented country, and had nothing objectionable in it, but a tiger or two, and a little heat in the warm part of the day.

I know enough of the world now to have almost lost the capacity of being much surprised by anything

Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show.

the sight of me is good for sore eyes

There can be no disparity in marriage like unsuitability of mind and purpose.

There can't be a quarrel without two parties, and I won't be one. I will be a friend to you in spite of you. So now you know what you've got to expect

It will be your duty, and it will be your pleasure too to estimate her (as you chose her) by the qualities that she has, and not by the qualities she may not have.

The streets looked small, of course. The streets that we have only seen as children always do I believe when we go back to them

We must meet reverses boldly, and not suffer them to frighten us, my dear. We must learn to act the play out. We must live misfortune down, Trot!

...I hope that simple love and truth will be strong in the end. I hope that real love and truth are stronger in the end than any evil or misfortune in the world.

To have all those noble Romans alive before me, and walking in and out for my entertainment, instead of being the stern taskmasters they had been at school, was a most novel and delightful effect.

If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see.

I am thankful that sacrifice is non-negotiable, and that counting the cost in giving to another is foolishly assuming that we can put a price on sacrifice.

If it’s that jerk, he’s going to see my gun. ‘My body is a weapon.’ Dumb sh*t. I bet my gun can take out his body really damn quick.

In life moments arrive where the mouth becomes tongueless and the eyes become tongue!

Most men, when they think they are thinking, are merely rearranging their prejudices.

I chose to be a working wife and mother. Why should I compromise on either?

I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.

The trouble with the Labour Party is that they don't really believe in Socialism, but they cannot wholeheartedly approve of private enterprise either.

You can stick a fork in Barack Obama. Politically, he's done. The main way we can screw this up is if we choose the wrong Republican.

That's the nature of my [stand-up] act: black man with a white baby.