I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result.

I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being good all the time. That would be hypocrisy.

The truth is rarely pure and never simple.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.

The very essence of romance is uncertainty.

Oh! it is absurd to have a hard-and-fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn't. More than half of modern culture depends on what one shouldn't read.

The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her if she is pretty, and to someone else if she is plain.

I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays.

I hate people who are not serious about meals. It is so shallow of them.

In matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity, is the vital thing.

Never speak disrespectfully of Society, Algernon. Only people who can’t get into it do that.

Betrayal and dishonor is usually an inside job. Keep it 'sucka-free', loved one!

I'm not dead yet, just in a state of rapid decay, who isn't?

You know, I'm very proud of the large number of Hispanic endorsements that I've received.

He that riseth betimes hath some thing in his head.

When it is time to get to work, I go away completely and don't do anything except the work. And that can be 16 hours a day.

I began to forget myself in the middle of sentences.

I would rather worry without need than live without heed.

Yes, making mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep

I coach my daughter's softball and basketball team. We go to all the school functions. We go out to eat at night and take the kids to the movies. We try to be as normal as we can.

Fear is the disease. Hustle is the antidote.