I love God and when you get to know Him you find He's a Livin' Doll.

Publicity can be terrible. But only if you don't have any.

I like a man who can run faster than I can.

I love God, and when you get to know Him, you find He's a Livin' Doll.

Soon after Marilyn died, I met Bobby Kennedy and he looked at me as if to say: 'I am your enemy'.

These days I am a teetotal, mean-spirited, right-wing, narrow-minded, conservative Christian bigot, but not a racist.

I credit chiropractic care for maintaining my health to keep up the pace of my career.

They held up 'The Outlaw' for five years. And Howard Hughes had me doing publicity for it every day, five days a week for five years.

It is actually a good survival strategy to manipulate twist, and reorganize the truth in a way that is more consistent with what we can psychologically tolerate.

Maybe this was why people filled their house with stinking cats, so they didn't notice that they were alone, so they wouldn't die without a living soul noticing.

Philanthropies and charities have a certain air of quackery.

The only athletic sport I ever mastered was backgammon.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

Well... you know, I would wake up with a terrible hangover in a jail somewhere and worst part was that I would not know why I was there.

Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.

There is no way of keeping profits up but by keeping wages down.

I've done too many stupid things for there not to be movies made about me when I'm dead, so I might as well write the script.