I look at careers like Ben Stiller and think that's a great career to have where you're doing movies that you write and direct, and also act in films, although he's primarily an actor.

Much of my youth was spent in the parking lot or inside a Dunkin' Donuts.

I've always dreamed of having a year-round haunted house.

You know, I'm from Boston, and in Boston, you are born with a baseball bat in your hand.

The scariest people are usually the sweetest.

Life is a series of avoiding horrible situations until ultimately you're dead. That's how I feel about things.

'Hostel' is that's how I feel about what's going on in Iraq. There's people that just want money and people are being sacrificed for it.

I've always been fascinated by the idea that there's no such thing as evil; it's all in your point of view. To one group a suicide bomber is the antichrist and to one he's a hero.

Anytime you're the first to speak out against something, there's going to be a backlash.

What is important to me is that people know I respect the business of making movies.

I have no tattoos. There's nothing I've even been that into to get a tattoo of it.

our earth is the most beautiful mother :)

It is impossible to serve God without serving one another.

Laws are made by the old, exceptions by the young.

I do lots of crowd work in my set, because I enjoy writing material through riffing and conversation.

The whole world accepts that being stressed is the normal way to live.

In a narrow circle the mind grows narrow. The more one expands, the larger their aims.

I've had, you know, my leg chopped off.

Love between man and man is impossible because there must not be sexual intercourse and friendship between man and woman is impossible because there must be sexual intercourse.

Suddenly I am furious, that with my life on the line, they don’t even have the decency to pay attention to me. That I’m being upstaged by a dead pig.

For the moment, what we attend to is reality.