I like to do stand-up for people who live real life.

Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly.

Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets.

I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

Don't follow in my footsteps. Be original, and create your own path. Be a trailblazer! Do you! Be better than me. Do you! Be happy and have joy in your life.

I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness - she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn't there for that.

My father said: "If you want to catch your girl cheating, you knock on the front door and run to the back, because he's coming out the back."

I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.

No men can save himself, that's why Jesus was nailed on the cross.

mysterious like the moon, she would delight you in her glow, her light alone can make you question yourself.. & who was she? She will never let you know.

He would look so young. They were both so young. Tessa knew it was unusual to marry at seventeen and eighteen, but they were racing a clock. The clock of Jem's life, before it wound down.

In the final analysis there is no other solution to man's progress but the day's honest work, the day's honest decision, the day's generous utterances, and the day's good deed.

Empathic, emotionally intelligent work environments have a good track record of increasing creativity, improving problem solving and raising productivity.

Take what the old-church found in Mithra's tomb, candle and script and bell, take what the new-church spat upon and broke and shattered.

I can eat a man, but I'm not sure of the fiber content.

It's the job of grandmothers to interfere.

What marriage is to morality, a properly conducted licensed liquor traffic is to sobriety.

I believe in a graduated income tax on big fortunes, and in . . . a graduated inheritance tax on big fortunes, . . . increasing rapidly in amount with the size of the estate.