I know what you're gonna think, what you're gonna ask. Percy Jackson, why are you hanging from a Times Square billboard without your pants on, about to fall to your death?

Do you shovel to survive, or survive to shovel?

My heart is kerosene, my mind a match. I’m seconds away from igniting.

Equality is not the empirical claim that all groups of humans are interchangeable

Never cry for the same reason twice.

My imagination is a twisted place.

Being a team player should not imply a demand for simple obedience and conformity.

I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find you.

If I'm looking really intense, it's not because I'm trying to be mystical. It's because I'm thinking '[Dagnabit], that was supposed to be a 7th chord'.

No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.

I grew up watching 'Raging Bull.