I keep losing and regaining my equilibrium, which is the basic plot of all popular fiction. And I myself am a work of fiction.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

I never really thought of myself as depressed so much as paralyzed by hope.

You have a meeting to make a decision, not to decide on the question.

A good football coach needs a patient wife, a loyal dog and a great quarterback - but not necessarily in that order.

Stop asking if the glass is half full or half empty. Instead ask "What's in it? How did it get there? What can I do with it?"

All my life I been doin' what people tell me to do. Now, I'm telling them.

If what has happened in the one person were communicated directly to the other, all art would collapse, all the effects of art would disappear.

What counts in a good story is the person inside. Keep it simple.

It is a dangerous notion that we need a government to protect us from ourselves.

Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away.

Certain aspects of my personality are always going to come out on-screen. I guess that's just me - if they say I'm quirky, I'm quirky. It's better than being boring.