I have nothing against women. Some of my best wives were women.

Aces are larger than life and greater than mountains.

If you speak the truth, you spoil the game.

Every conscious act requires risk. Every conscious act requires decision. Put these two facts together and you realize that the secret to life is not to avoid gambling but to gamble well.

You win some, you lose some, and you keep it to yourself.

As long as people allow themselves to be shocked, outraged or disgusted, there will be those who see that this happens, just so they can watch.

Don't leave it to the law of averages to make you break even.

I am a lucky player; a powerful winning force surrounds me.

In the beginning, everything was even money.

False hope is sometimes much worse and sometimes much better than no hope.

It's hard to convince a winner that he's losing.

If you leave this world without solving the problems for which you were born, then you are a failure.

But had I accepted the pickle juice, I would be drinking pickle juice right now.

Positive thinking is great, if you'll take action.

If you ever look sideways at another man or attempt to refuse me I shall beat you. Got it?

Editing might be a bloody trade. But knives aren't the exclusive property of butchers. Surgeons use them too.

Poor John Simon - what a nightmare, to wake up in the morning and realize that you are John Simon.

For every action there’s a reaction. And also, for every action there’s an equal and opposite criticism.

Since we are all naturally prone to hypocrisy, any empty semblance of righteousness is quite enough to satisfy us instead of righteousness itself.

That is my work, to transform your life from a sad affair into a celebration.

Love like you'll never be hurt.