I had received a t-shirt from my best friend Veronica at my police academy graduation. It reads, ‘Throw your donut in the opposite direction and the cops won’t get you.’ I love wearing that t-shirt.

Even sentenced to twenty-five years in prison Ted didn’t get what he deserved. Maybe his prison mates would give it to him.

Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.

All during that prison time I really lived by prayer. Be in prayer always, we're told, and back then I was.

I'm not sure what I was good at as a kid. I was good at playing with Legos.

Better Than You island doesn't exist. And if it does it's full of idiots, looking over their shoulder for the next idiot to arrive.

I never sue journalists. I employ journalists. I employ too many of them. I don't sue journalists.

Most of my books have been written in the form of fantasy.

I learned that it's super important to stay true to yourself and your family. I've also learned that I've got a lot to learn about life, but that's just part of growing up.

Money is the sixth sense that makes it possible to enjoy the other five.

I am sad, like the hot dust on the streets And the music of fresh fallen leaves Caught in a sliding summer breeze.