I feel like when I was 13 and I had to go to bar mitzvahs every weekend. This is the same feeling. You have to put on a suit every weekend to go meet with a bunch of Jews.

The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons ... were the fatties.

I had great difficulty in school interacting with others, and I took refuge in the contrived setting of play acting, which is what I still do.

I grew up in a secular suburban Jewish household where we only observed the religion on very specific times like a funeral or a Bar Mitzvah.

Every character I play has to be the hero of his own story, the way we're all heroes of our own lives.

I have an iPad and I watch three things: 'The Daily Show,' '60 Minutes,' and 'Meet the Press.'

No compliment is ever sufficient and every insult, of course, is true.

I have one female fan. But she lives with me. I'm not aware of any others.

Society will decide after the technology is created what we will and won't accept.

The happiest moments for me, creatively, are doing readings of a play around a table where there's no audience.

People ask me what my hobbies are in interviews, and I always say biking. But all I bike for is to get to rehearsal more quickly.

This is the worst of our ways of remembering--this tendency to prod the crust of anecdote in the hope of releasing a gush of piping-hot symbolism.

Because it is on the anvil of pain that the gods forge heroes.

Enlightenment doesn't simply mean being in heavenly states of mind. It doesn't mean being a saint.

God has joined the innocent with the guilty.

It has always been my rule in business to make everything count.

Whatever else a photograph may be about, it is inevitably about photography, the container and vehicle of all its meanings.

He’s a war mage. They’re almost impossible to kill.” He scowled. “Even on purpose.

However infinite the Universe may be, our true and practical universe is still the surroundings of the house we live in.

We need to be fighting and rallying around the common American values. This is where the Democratic Party needs to learn and grow as we move forward.

I must reject fluids and ethers of all kinds, magnetical, electrical, and universal, to whatever quintessential thinness they may be treble distilled, and as it were super-substantiated.