I am sick of being the victim of trends I reflect but don't even understand.

Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.

Unless you are at a picnic, life is no picnic.

I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have deja vu!

The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.

It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.

If olive oil comes from olives, then where does baby oil come from?

I worry that our lives are like soap operas. We can go for months and not tune in to them, then six months later we look in and the same stuff is still going on.

One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.

I worry that humanity has been "advanced" to its present level of incompetency because evolution works on the Peter Principle.

We define genius as the capacity for productive reaction against one's training.

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?

The mega-strategy of Jesus: make disciples.

The last time I actually drove a car myself was 1996.

I want to reassure our allies in Japan and South Korea and elsewhere that we have mutual defense treaties and we will honor them.

We are our own devils; we drive ourselves out of our Edens.

People in New Zealand go out of their way to not be impressed by things.

As the soul is the life of the body, so God is the life of the soul. As therefore the body perishes when the soul leaves it, so the soul dies when God departs from it.

Rocky would definitely run for councilman. Maybe mayor. But these people are actually most effective in the family unit. That's where they shine.

In movies you can shoot a guy 3,000 times and get a 'PG-13', but if you say the 'F' word twice it's automatically an 'R'. I'll let that be its own comment.