I am deeply grateful for the life I do have. In many ways, I am very fortunate.

I sometimes look into the face of my dog Stan and see a wistful sadness and existential angst, when all he is actually doing is slowly scanning the ceiling for flies.

A wacky, trendy outfit on a guy over 40 indicates he's got big issues.

Beware the man who doesn't ask you any questions about yourself on your first date.

Men who have a lot of charm have it in place of something real that you are eventually going to want from them and find that they do not have.

No one would argue against the fact that L.A. leads the country in opportunities for being hip and pretentious.

A more complex - but only slightly more original - way to feel out of it is available at the hip and pretentious nightclubs and bars along the Sunset Strip.

It's just like magic. When you live by yourself, all your annoying habits are gone!.

You just never know when it might be cookie time. And, that is what the dogs have taught me.

My goal was always getting my work out in the world, and in many ways, I feel like the luckiest person alive.

The day is divided into two important sections: Mealtimes and everything else.

Telling yourself you like the way you look is easy. Believing it is an entirely different kettle of whales.

The note is the same, I fancy, be the octave high or low.

Public speaking skills are an essential key to achieving career advancement and success.

Intolerance is evidence of impotence.

The higher the mountain on which you stand, the less change in the prospect from year to year, from age to age. Above a certain height there is no change.

I sit in the dark. And it would be hard to figure out which is worse; the dark inside, or the darkness out.

From the strictest humanitarian viewpoint, any attempt to stop the processes by which over crowded cities purge themselves is not a kindness.

It's t'ai chi every time. I'm using your positive energy, and I'm blowing off it. See, most guys can't push, they got to lean. When they lean, I spin.

The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.

If you want to fight a cult, you've got to form a cult.