I always just wanted to be funny. I never really planned to be scary.

Read. Read. Read. Just don't read one type of book. Read different books by various authors so that you develop different styles.

Well, when I was 13, for my bar mitzvah I received my first typewriter. And that was special.

Many adults feel that every children's book has to teach them something.... My theory is a children's book... can be just for fun.

Sometimes it helps to scold yourself, to give yourself advice.

I feel happy to terrify kids.

When I write, I try to think back to what I was afraid of or what was scary to me, and try to put those feelings into books.

The only lesson is, you gotta keep at it.

Everything that has happened to me has been amazing and surprising.

Who is more irrational, the guy who believes in a God he can't see, or a guy who's offended by a God he doesn't believe in?

I've had a very sheltered life. What can happen to you if you stay home writing all day?

I won the parental lottery. Most of the kids I grew up with either came from really fractured homes, or really violent ones. I went home to a very traditional, good Irish Catholic family.

Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, 'Make me feel important.' Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life.

It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us; it is the very sign of His presence.

You can't increase prosperity by taxing success.

Don't ever play with someone's feelings, you could win the game but you could lose that person forever.

I love my house. I love my family. I love my animals.

Pessimist: The optimist who didn't arrive.

There's only one truth about war: people die.

Probably the most important reason we are seeing more cancers than before is because the population is ageing overall. And cancer is an age-related disease.

A true friend is someone with whom protocol is no longer necessary.