He marries best who puts it off until it is too late.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

My heart is small, like a love of buttons or black pepper.

Wouldn't the worst be, isn't the worst, in truth, that women aren't castrated, that they have only to stop listening to the Sirens (for the Sirens were men) for history to change its meaning?

Most of the time I think we're really pretty positive and optimistic, and we're so lucky to have the life that we have and had with him.

I was maybe 10 or 11 when I saw 'Titanic.' And, yes, I was a fan. I loved it.

When we dwell on the past, we tend to want to live there. When we dream of the future, we want to go there. Our dreams are where God paints a picture of a life waiting to be created.

The future is easy because it doesn’t exist; but the past is painful because it lives forever.

Watching my four year old daughter dance I cannot break free of her.

The silence was an intense roar.

As long as I've got one chance to beat you I'm going to take it.

It's very hard to know who your readers are, but that's who I'm... if I have somebody in my head, that's probably who it is.