Ford O'Connell, the guy in the sound bite we just played, he's the guy who said that nominating a conservative presidential candidate would just postpone the GOP nightmare.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

The ark was like a portable computer hard drive and Noah was a one-man Geek Squad, and he dumped God's most important files onto it before he zorched the virus-ridden computer that was the world.

Author Toni Morrison swats aside other possible sources of her success and says that the ONLY reason she is a great writer is because when she walked into a room as a child her father's face lit up.

It was comforting to know I had fallen and could fall no farther.

Be pleasant until ten o'clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself.

A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.

Even though I'm in love, sometimes I get so afraid.

I wrote two plays before I was cast on The Neighbors. They actually got published, which was cool.

The hero was a big man; the celebrity is a big name.

I find most 'sacred music' pretty dismal.

You've got the words to change a nation but you're biting your tongue