Facebook has been spreading across the continents faster than a highly contagious Asian bird flu!

Using Facebook is like taking a Dyson to your spare time.

You could say that Facebook is doing a far more effective job than religion at teaching us to 'love thy neighbor, ' connecting us with random strangers and 'friends' from distant lands.

Nothing succeeds like success. Kill me now.

If I want to feel as if I'm being sucked down a fathomless gloomy tunnel for hours and hours then I have a complete set of Schopenhauer at home.

You only think of the best comeback when you leave.

The dying process begins the minute we are born, but it accelerates during dinner parties.

Somewhere at the top of the pyramid in the invisible government are a few sinister people who know exactly what they are doing: They want America to become part of a worldwide socialist dictatorship.

What prevents a man's speaking good sense with a smile on his face?

Describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial: These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.

I am actually wearing slacks on the show more than I ever have - it is now acceptable, and I like mixing it up.

That was the perfect penalty - apart from he missed it.

A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.