Even if I built a 50,000-seater stadium and bought Ronaldinho, there'd still be complaints about crap hotdogs.

I had an Aston Martin phone worth ?15,000 given to me as a present. I dropped it in a gin and tonic about 15 seconds after opening it.

If I see another David Gold interview on the poor East End Jewish boy done good I'll impale myself on one of his dildos.

Agents are nasty scum. They're evil and divisive and pointless. They only survive because the rest of the sport is so corrupt and because leading football club people employ their sons in the job.

I'm not going to drag it out or make a point, because points are pointless.

In retrospect, of course I regret calling them (Charlton fans) morons. Imbeciles would have been more appropriate.

What does Everton chairman Bill Kenwright think he will get for £6m? Andy Johnson's trainers?

I'm no respecter of tradition and I have no time for the Manchester Uniteds and Arsenals of this world. There's nothing to admire in these clubs. They're just bullshit worlds full of bullshit people.

Andrew is an integral part of the team and he is staying at my football club. The reality is I need him to score the goals that will get us promoted.

Your hardest time will be the most memorable time of your life if you can endure it.

A heart grows flat and stale from too much thinking.

Our lives are spent sailing in the mist, hoping for a burst of sunlight that can make sense of who we are.

We put ourselves through hell and that is hell.

In order to know your enemy, you must become your enemy.

I don't have much in me left for Somalia, because the country is so broken, it's not realistic to daydream about it.

Truly, when I say the show has given me everything, it's given me everything.

Ridcully was to management what King Herod was to the Bethlehem Playgroup Association.

There is an underlying, fundamental reliance on the Internet, which continues to grow in the number of users, country penetration and both fixed and wireless broadband access.