Education helps you earn more. But not many schoolteachers can prove it.

Advice is like mushrooms. The wrong kind can prove fatal.

Choice, not chance, determines destiny.

The courage to speak must be matched by the wisdom to listen.

There is always something to be thankful for. If you can't pay your bills, you can be thankful you are not one of your creditors.

Isn't it wonderful how dogs can win friends and influence people without ever reading a book.

Sign on a High School bulletin board in Dallas: Free every Monday through Friday-knowledge. Bring your own containers.

The biggest farce of man's history has been the argument that wars are fought to save civilization.

It's a pleasure to give advice, humiliating to need it, normal to ignore it.

Playing golf is like raising children. You keep thinking you'll do better next time.

Free advice is often overpriced.

Bureaucracy gives birth to itself and then expects maternity benefits.

the detective's highest talent lay in the gentle art of seeking favours under the guise of conferring them!

So learning to play a new instrument, learning a new language - those sorts of things will pay dividends for years or decades to come.

That's the trouble with caring about anybody, you begin to feel overprotective. Then you begin to feel crowded.

We judge matters so superficially that ordinary acts and words, done and spoken with some flair and some knowledge of worldly matters, often succeed better than the greatest cleverness.

You don’t want to ask after the health of anyone, if you’re a funeral director. They think maybe you’re scouting for business.

You can't pander to your audience. You might in the short term, but ultimately you can't hoodwink them, either.

Whenever one writes a book one should have a notional reader in mind.

A book is not harmless merely because no one is consciously offended by it.