Don't fear the terrorists. They're mothers and fathers.

I don't care if you want to hunt, I don't care if you think it's your right. I say, sorry, you are not allowed to own a gun, and if you do own a gun I think you should go to prison.

Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America...

I just want to say something. 655,000 Iraqi civilians are dead. Who are the terrorists?

The Second Amendment is not really a right.

I act irrationally, I defy the odds, I engage when others would run. I look for trouble, I seek chaos, it is a burden.

I think there should be a law - and I know this is extreme - that no one can have a gun in the U.S. If you have a gun, you go to jail. Only the police should have guns.

I'd love to be a dead body in the emergency room and have George Clooney go, 'This one's gone!' while he puts a sheet on me.

I've been on every diet in the world. I've been on Slim-Fast. For breakfast you have a shake. For lunch, you have a shake. For dinner, you kill anyone with food on their plate.

I'm not going to let my life revolve around losing weight. I have other things to do.

I love to be able to support other women comics.

Writing is life – it’s where my heart leads me each day, and how I understand the world we live in.

I like to play with architecture! It's my favorite game.

All action is vicarious faith.

Nobody asks to be a hero, it just sometimes turns out that way.

I'm a great whittler. I can whittle a marshmallow stick really quickly. I don't think anyone whittles anymore, they should!

Despair makes victims sometimes victors.

I guess I thought I was Elvis Presley but I'll tell ya something. All Elvis did was stand on a stage and play a guitar. He never fell off on that pavement at no 80 mph.

Trust me, if you're working on a $70 million movie and you're the last guy, you feel all that weight on your shoulders.

Suffering will get you great footage. I don't know about closer to God. Although there have been times when I've suffered to the point where I think I might be about to meet him.

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.