By myself, I'm a hard pill. My wife makes me look real good, because she smoothes my rough edges. That's why I say, "Take your wife everywhere. It's a good thing."

Never stop being YOU. I am out to be the best ME I can be. Do what you LOVE and you will be badass.

You get better at working by working. And if you don't work, you're not getting better.

Never let anyone define you. You are the only person who defines you. No one can speak for you. Only you speak for you. You are your only voice.

Never stop! Slow down sometimes, but never stop!

I call myself the Amusement Park. That's because I'm funny and scary at the same time.

It ain't easy being cheesy!

You can't be perfect, so enjoy your imperfections.

The thing that you think is imperfect about you, is the thing that makes you who you are. It separates you from everybody else.

It's great to be strong but strength is nothing without having compassion.

Trying to be cool is the easiest path to mediocrity

...if I only knew how much longer we had to put up with each other's company, I'd start counting the days.

I'm convinced part of the reason I got signed is because of who I am, and it makes me sad.

It seems to me that, in every culture, I come across a chapter headed 'Wisdom.' And then I know exactly what is going to follow: 'Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.'

You should have read the directions before you showed up to the party.

Live with your lips pressed against your fears, kissing your fears, neither pulling back nor aggressively violating them.

I lived a very isolated life. When you start at 20, you have a lot of nonsense to work out of your system.

What do you think I'm a professor of? The little finger? (On offers of honorary doctorates.)

You can count how many seeds are in the apple, but not how many apples are in the seed.

Our belief in our divinity will rewrite our life, and create it anew

To the untraveled, territory other than their own familiar heath is invariably fascinating. Next to love it is the one thing that solaces and delights.