And that's why, gentleman, if your little girl doesn't come up to scratch, it will be our painful duty to cut all your throats. Merely in a way of business, as you might say, and no offense, I hope.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Trust me. I know what I want, and it’s right in front of me.” Her eyes went wide as she softly gasped. And then he pressed against her fully and kissed her.

It's not conversion 'therapy

People of humor are always in some degree people of genius.

Growing up, I never was a big follower of the Dodgers.

Well, we're just now seeing the reductions in mortgage rates. The mortgage rates are based on the ten-year rate and the Fed controls the overnight or the shorter rates.

I've been alone my whole life, I can't do it anymore.

Paul and I know each other on a lot of different levels that very few people know about.

We have no obligation to make history. We have no obligation to make art. We have no obligation to make a statement. To make money is our only objective.

The Inquisition confused sin with sinners and judged both. Modern Americans make the same mistake but judge neither.

I honor religion except when it gets into shedding blood.