Witty Quotes

Spanish—how shall I say this?—is likePortuguese spoken with a speech impediment.

For what religion has never had sects? Rest assured, Extremism is always the derrière.

Have you ever noticed how good things go to those who hate?

You will have relatively less problems to solve, if you don't confuse problems with inconveniences.

I decided to do the easy task of changing situations and conditions by being a hero, than staying back to do the difficult task of changing people by being just a man.

Memories make you sentimental, experiences make you smart.

I agree that sometimes it is difficult to choose between right and wrong, but not between right and stupid.

Remember, crowd doesn't care about common sense.

Majority wins, but majority is not necessarily right and sometimes majority is awfully wrong.

Growing age can kill the beauty, not the style.

All women may not be beautiful but every woman can look beautiful.

Don't let out your true behaviour in the public, even if you were born nasty, make others feel you were well bred.

Money, Gun and Lie can solve almost all the problems.

I love Pizza thicker, when the crust is thinner!

When I die cremate me so I can finally fit into something small.

Neil Mars?! I could blame him for having killer looks but he could not be faulted for this. He couldn’t have chosen that name for himself. No wonder he tortures his Mom by calling her by her name.

A smile is merely a symptom of the human condition called happiness. Animals are affected by that condition more often though the symptoms are not so obvious.

Skul-man!' he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. 'Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun by evil trans-dimensional superfiends!' Skulduggery nodded. 'Just got back.

Jehovah’s Witness? Don’t sweat it. I’m going to hell, already booked my ticket. Bright side? I’m pagan. Your hell is my heaven... if for no other reason than you won’t be there.

Pretending to care what men think is an art. It takes moments to learn, but lifetimes to master. I’d like to believe I’m an expert.

ONLY' having the Gift, people appreciate this madness as Art. Everybody wants to have Art in their lives, but no body wants to have what the Art came out from in their lives...

Displacement of 'What goes around, comes around' is Zero.

Nobody ever goes to that store to shop because it’s too crowded.

Dedication and enthusiams are the greatest rewards for learning

You like? she asked Slade. He gave her a head nod and she vanished behind the curtain.That's my sister, he said, pointing at the closed curtain.I shrugged. "I'm glad you guys are so close.

Is my life, by any chance, about to take a new turn?

I know that you’re worried about me, but crushing my lungs isn’t going to help anyone.

Nothing incites failure more than success.

Deep down, he's shallow.

This is unacceptable! We’re English, damn it! We know how to build things where they shouldn't be!" - Governor Dewar

It ain’t whatcha write, it’s the way atcha write it.

When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a transplant. Bad part is we don't have any.

My dear boy, in Ireland the midwife uses one hand to hold the baby's best fighting arm from the font water, and grips its jaws with the other lest the goes to litigation about it. Says O'LiamRoe

My wife was saying to me just the other day how she's noticed a spring in my step lately. That was because I thought you were gone forever.' 'I missed you too, Thurid.

I’ve often been criticised, but never critically wounded

It's one thing if your hobby is to put ships inside a bottle, but a deer in the headlights!... That's a real talent

True Devdas are Authors

I am a man of principles, and my first principle is flexibility.

I am still not used to being the possessor of such a grand title. I believe I shall have to start wearing a purple satin turban and carrying a lorgnette.

Well we can't be having that. One person starts having fun and it turns into an epidemic. Difficult to stop that kind of thing, you know.

The culture of the Epic Fail, in its rituals of comic sacrifice, is a culture of sublimated predation.

What were you supposed to say to people you barely knew? That was the kind of thing I needed lessons in - forget algebra and history.

Does drinking make you wittier? One might as well ask if witting makes you drinkier, which it may.

Most of you Mistborn are probably too proud to crawl. I'm surprised you were willing to do so your

As the nicknames get shorter, people come closer.

Jason smiled and took a sip of his coke before responding. “I’m not sure how to reply to that. I thought about just giving you a nasty look. But I see you already have one.

My wit is only as stupid as the audience.

The important thing to remember is not to forget

Graham's life is as tense as an overstretched simile.

Half is better than none unless it be of a wit.