Humour Quotes
There is nothing harder to explain than humor.
What does "poet laureate" mean? Nothing. It means a person with laurel branches twined around his head. Which is not something people do much now.
Death would be an extremely bad thing like most of us paint it, if being dead were painful.
Do what is right. Not what you like.
Some people love but will never marry each other. Some are married to but have never loved and will never love each other.
Having a kid is like an industrial revolution of the emotions. Suddenly you can mass produce worry, and guilt.
She looked utterly betrayed, as betrayed as the most betrayed person in Shakespeare.
If we had to earn our age by thinking for ourselves at least once a year, only a handful of people would reach adulthood.
Just follow my lead, ’ I said. ‘It’ll be fun.’‘Please, ’ Sam begged, ‘don’t let those words be carved on my tombstone.
Nothing humbles a beautiful woman better than not being wanted by a man whose girlfriend or wife is ugly (or not as beautiful as she is).
To evade insanity and depression, we unconsciously limit the number of people toward whom we are sincerely sympathetic.
Your relationship or marriage is dead or dying, if you almost always have to remind your partner to miss you (and/or they almost always have to remind you to miss them).
More people would be depressed, if parents tried to please their children as frequently and as badly as children try to please their parents.
Julesa: "Are you a fool? Father will have you hung if he realises you've escaped."Never: "Everyone dies from something.
Reacher prowled the hallway, his gun stiff-armed way out in front of him, his torso jerking violently left and right from the hips, like a crazy disco dance. The house-storming shuffle.
Taking good care of your husband or wife is the best way to thank their parent or parents for having taken good care of them.
Many a woman is in a relationship with or married to her man not because she loves him but only because she likes men like him.
One of the leading causes of obesity is the misbelief that, when it comes to juice, ‘100%’ means ‘sugar-free.
Oh, is that my report, father?' said Mike, with a sort of sickly interest, much as a dog about to be washed might evince in his
Death is number one on the list of things that we wish were possible to leave behind when we escaped barbarism.
Had a cold hummus with pita bread, Under a delicious food, yellow or red. Might just have the appetite to cook Urgent dinner by hook or crook.So that's just a humus humor spread.
Not everyone who has killed themselves because they were HIV positive would have been killed by AIDS.
Whether it is big or small, the size of a poor man’s yard incessantly reminds him that he is poor.
We are sometimes hurt mostly or only not by what happened or is happening to us but by being felt sorry for.
Being HIV positive doesn’t necessarily mean that you are going to die before each and every person who is HIV negative.
We human beings regard ourselves as (or compare ourselves to) animals only when it suits us.
If you don’t like your appearance, then change it, but don’t keep doing nothing and then complaining about it, because it’s bo
Old Enochian running on neural wetware is not the fastest procedural language ever invented, and it’s semantics make AppleScript look like a thing of elegance and beauty
The pleasant fact is that the British are not much good at violent crime except in fiction, which is of course as it should be.
So no get out of jail free card huh?” Ingra doesn't say a word I hear groaning behind me it's Tria she slowly gets up “How did we get here?!” Tria tries to keep her voice calm
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: “I wish no gifts, only presence.
Ingra just kept a straight face he hoped Vilenthe was joking. “Anyway.” Ingra tried to bring the topic full circle
There have been times on this trip I’ve been convinced that GPS was wrong.
Basically what Ingra is saying is trust him he knows what to do despite us probably dying soon.” Tria chimed in “Right...” Pantiel replied
Immediately after a divorce or a breakup, your mind whispers that there are plenty more fish in the sea, while your heart shouts that there is only one whoever-you-just-divorced-or-broke-up-with.
US government button specifications run to twenty-two pages. This fact on its own yields a sense of what it is like to design garments for the Army.
Some of the people we feel sorry for feel sorry for us for thinking that they are the ones who should be felt sorry for.
To take away a man’s sanity, answer all his prayers and solve all his problems. Or give him everything and everyone he wants.
It is as difficult for most poor people to truly believe that they could someday escape poverty as it is for most wealthy people to truly believe that their wealth could someday escape them.