Humor Quotes
Just because you are on a path to damnation, doesn’t mean you’re going to get there. Be willing to change your travel plans.
Oh, I know I'm a great trial to you, Marilla, " said Anne repentantly. "I make so many mistakes. But then just think of all the mistakes I don't make, although I might.
Sometimes you feel as though you've slandered yourself, but the joke's on them.
And, beginning to grind his teeth again, Pyotr Petrovich admitted that he'd been a fool--but only to himself, of course.
What have you done?” Shadow asked her, his eyes alive with fear.“I dunno, but I wish I hadn't.
Master: When a human being asks 'WHO AM I?', the honest answer is eternal silence.Disciple: Do we make noise to feel that silence, Master?
The irony of rule followers is they often quote a lot of people that do not follow as many rules as they do.
An educated theologian: someone who's better at rationalizing what they're pretending to know.
The monitor presently shows the Windows Blue Screen of Death, though this does not alarm him, as the BSoD is the universal screen saver in Hell.
Lucifer, how, after a dozen millennia in Hell, could you possibly lose your way?" the Devil asked incredulously. "Well, " the lesser demon began, "It is a rather large place...
Are you taking us to hell?" I ask, and Denise answers with an ominous, "More or less.
There is a rule in Hell: Don’t trust anyone who takes time out of their day to help you.
I smile thinly, to make it clear that this will happen when hell turns into a family friendly summer resort.
What do you think the Order is going to do?" he asks. "Help us open a door to Hell, if we're lucky, " I reply. Lucky. Ha ha. The irony.
If there's a place for me in Hell I hope it's next to someone like you
My handling of the situation with Jake proved that I was the same girl from eight years ago. I'd just gained a stone and lost my love for Shayne Ward.
Love passed me by and I failed to get the plates.
Most of the funeral stuff is going to be done during daylight hours, ” I said. “I’m not even going to be able to attend the burial. Humans get upset when vampires burst into flames right next to them.
Before you go, mate, turn on the telly. Something raunchy too. Think I'll rub off one before I go to sleep
A line of perspiration slipped down my spine like a waterslide at an unamusement park.
I mean, electric shock? Isn’t that a bit... electric shock-y?
Henry held up his taco- formerly Vlad's- and grinned. " Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius."pg248 Henry to Vlad & Joss
My turner Mah'Lor is with me forever as well. At least his head is.
Typically, I prefer to gag my own men. I'd never considered having them delivered to me that way.
Maybe Dracula wasn't a vampire, just a raging alcoholic who was constantly hungover.
It didn't feel sporting to shoot at a crazy person, even if that person was a vampire who'd agreed to the job.
Silly me, thinking you actually had potential. I thought, Finally, she's realized she's a vampire. Now we're getting somewhere. But now you're just a big fluffy bunny with sharp teeth.
Seriously, I ‘ve got to know if I need to protect you from people running with pencils." ~ Laney
I suggest you give up now. According to my research, in a vampire-werewolf love triangle, the vampire always gets the girl.
That’s rich, coming from you, Hellcat, I would’ve thought it was impossible for a Vampire to get grey hairs until I met you! (Alexander)
We’re only five years apart, ” I said defiantly. “If you look at some of those dysfunctional vampyre relationships, we’re near normal.
There were a few things scarier than a bipolar vampire off his meds, but to be honest, not that many.
Right. I can see it now. Merry Christmas, everybody! And by the way, did I tell you I'm a vampire? No need to pass the gravy, just bare your neck-
I can still feel my legs, thanks for asking. My back’s not even hurt that badly. Only as though I was just hit by a train.
Dear God, that man has a magnificent body.' ............. 'It’s like having a cupcake thrust in front of your face and not being allowed to have a lick of the icing.
I'll just stay ten feet away from him at all times so I don't accidentally trip and fall and land lips first on his mouth.
It's not wrong to hustle hustlers. It's like killing murderers, a public service. -Damon Salvatore
Very touching, " said a voice from the stairway. "Do you want me to imitate a violin?" - Damon
You freaking bit me, " I said, my voice hoarse. "You're lucky I don't call animal control.