Humor Quotes

It's always darkest before you're blinded by the light

You spoke to Nicodemus?' Vivian asked.[Francesca] 'We did.'V: 'And he trusts you?'F: 'As much as one might after a first impression involving hatchets.

People who believed in God today will doubt him tomorrow and those who doubted him today will believe in him tomorrow because believing in someone else doesn't work. Believe in yourself.

You’re hurt.”“No. No, I’m fine. It’s not blood. The militiamen were adjusting Sir Lewis’s trebuchet, and there was a mishap. You took a melon for me.” She smiled, even though her lips trembled.

You can't trust just any old person who comes along with a hundred puffins and a pretty face!

A friend asks, "Tell me one word which is significant in any kinds of relationship." Another friend says, "LISTEN!

Gradually you became my worst memories with a beautiful past

Did I miss the part where we were in a relationship?

In some rare cases, a friendship between two people benefits both of them, and what’s more, in some rarer cases, it benefits both of them equally.

Part of being friends with someone is knowing when to speak your mind and when to shut the hell up.

It's a pleasure to create a smile on people's face, and a gratification to see it on the people you love.

Friendship is the grease of life.

I always have my own opinion before my boss says his.

If you feel that you can solve others problems, then please, work little more on your own problems and solve them first.

You’re going to be trouble, aren’t you?”“Not if you give me everything I want.”“We’ll see.

I had a dream that my boyfriend went back to his ex…I woke up and giggled because you don’t pick up a rock after finding a diamond.

Geoff’s arm emanated with a solid warmth I longed for after our days aboard S.S. British-Craphole.

Pheromones didn't care about tomorrow. They didn't care about education or employment or age.

True love is jealousy in disguise: A man cannot restrict his lover from going to the club because he hates her, he actually hates the men who would come around and touch her.

I didn’t like his tone. In fact I didn’t like boys’ tone when they knew they were hot and tried to be rude to girls because they knew they were hot.

A year ago I would’ve been taken in by his chivalry, but now I knew what laid behind the façade: a frog waiting to bite me where it hurt the most given half the chance.

Try me, and you start LOVING!!

Try me, amd you will start LOVING!

I don't do relationships because I don't want to love and lose myself.

If you love three people at the same time, choose the first one, because if there was a 4th or 5th one, you might still fall for them.

She's SINGLE doesnt really mean she's AVAILABLE.She's IN A RELATIONSHIP doesnt really mean she's NOT INTERESTED.She's ENGAGED doesnt really mean IT'S OVER.IT'S JUST COMPLICATED untill she's MARRIED!

There is no human-like god. If there were, he'd be as silly as you.

Hurry, your imaginary heaven is calling you up, my dear holier-than-thou religious nuts.

Happiness is a state of mental, physical and spiritual well-being. Think pleasantly, engaged sport and read daily to enhance your well-being.

I'm thinking skywriting. 'Sorry I was an asshat. Please forgive my stupid butt.

That's the unforgivable sin, you know.""What is?""Refusing to forgive someone.""Refusing to forgive someone is the unforgivable sin?" I asked incredulously.

If you can't forgive and forget, then pick one and do it ...

Sometimes... the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person... is batshit crazy.

Horror shares an edge with hilarity.

Wait.” Stefan’s voice was hard suddenly. Bonnie and Elena turned back and froze, embracing each other, trembling. “What is your—your father—going to do to you when he finds out that you allowed th

At least I rescued your poor hot dog.

For me, adoption was grief in reverse.

Enjoy the moment while waiting.

I try to smile at her, but I can't extend my flexibility training to my mouth, it just won't move.

My boyfriend is named Percocet, " I say. "We're very close. I even went to Europe with him last summer.

Magic. I draw with silver and it turns red.

When Your Smile At Someone's Misery, Its Does Not Shows Your Tolerance. Its Reveals lack of Tears For Feeling.

pain demands to be felt..

I don't see why it matters what is written. Not when it's about people. It can always be crossed out.

Tomorrow looked a lot better yesterday

Life is easy. Just stay un-dead.

I love you silly 'holy' book. Here's hoping everybody un-reads it.

Similar to theory of relativity, view towards life changes with passage of time!

I'm a writer. I write stuff.

Once we were young, now we are adult.