Humor Quotes
He turned his gaze upon her, and their eyes not only met, the pupils shook hands, exchanged business cards, and sat down for tea together.
The Decision...I wiped my hands on my pinaforenow sullied and stainednot crisp or pressedas it had been before...
Calico KittyMy calico kittywas painted and primedshe could prowlthe night away ~without spending a dime...
You’re not doing a good job of selling me this dumb fantasy. I’m not climbing into the back of your van if I have to be Robin. I’m Batman. That’s how these things work.
That is when you know you have reached the point of no return, when you began to stalk a ghost.
We keep electing council members for appearance sake, it doesn’t mean anything, and it is just a show for the people, so that they may sleep well at night with their delusion of peace.
The abbot cleared his throat. "You are all very stupid people, " he told them graciously, "and you do not know anything at all.
Hmmm, ' the King said, making a face. 'I'm not sure this is what we bargained for, boy. We expected the girl to be attractive.' If I hadn't been so terrified, I would have been insulted.
Star, pillows don't attack dogs, " Sam said."Or anything else, " Turtle added.
Please take note that any and all dragon petting will be at your own peril. We are not liable for any injuries sustained while petting.
Jamal stared at the dog in his arms. "Why I am I holding a dog full of angels?
Even though I was fairly certain God wasn't Ted Bundy, I kept an open mind, since this phone call was getting a bit confusing.
You jealous souls are primeval without a doubt, Teach yourself to eat better instead of trying to eat one's heart out.
Transform yourself from desperate doormat to outspoken doormat-wielding proctologist.
She just asked me to pick her up some tampons and a Yoo-Hoo." ~Alex Sinclair
I'll try to turn the other cheek....But I've only got two and they're both stinging.
We did not determine our fate into the world. What we know is we are here in the world.
Donit kill her now, just when we've gone to all that trouble to rescue her, " said Jeffrey.
While you've been gadding about the countryside, we've held a meeting, and we've all of us decided that you must go.'In short, we've voted you out of the family, ' Daffy said. 'It was unanimous.
Accept the fact that girls squeal when they're happy or confused or excited or scared or because they just saw a certain boy in line.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree......unless that tree's growing on top of a hill.
Then Dad started going on about the complex geological formations in this part of the coast until Mum told him to shut up. But she was smiling when she said it. Lucy liked that.
If we adopted Jack, " I quip, "we'd have to give him combat pay for an allowance
It was a family joke that Lydia's domestic tendencies were somehow misplaced when she was created.
This is what you get, Maura, for using your DNA to make a baby, ” Calla said.
I don't understand how I can always want to sleep, hate waking up, and yet be afraid of death.
This girl who's slept a hundred years has something after all. It's called Centuryitis, and it has turned me into a man. Oh, what will mamma think when she sees me?!-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz
May my family, household and I be a devout God-fearing men and women.
The sacred gift of parenthood is inscribe in the universal words ‘Papa’ and ‘Mama’.
