Humor Quotes

Wow Kelsey!" Kishan whistled. "I'm going to have to beat the other guys of with a stick!

How I should despise such a thing if I were a man. What a nose she has! what a chin! what a neck! Then her eyes--and the worst kissing lips in the universe.

Brother, when beauty falls into your hand, you hold on to it while you can. You could be dead tomorrow.Well, that’s... inspiring.

Beauty may catch the eye, but a jolly laugh will lasso the heart.

The greatest ugliness in the world is seeing so beautiful a creature spoil themselves on stupidity.

If you can't handle me with a messy bun, then you don't deserve me with a fabulous blowout.

Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that’s beautiful.

Even the ugliest person's cellulite is more attractive than the most beautiful supermodel's lower intestine.' I'd put that on a T-shirt but probably Mark Twain already said it.

The good Christian should beware of mathematicians. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.

We have our own language. Christianese... We don't say 'He's out of his mind, ' no, we say 'That's our youth pastor.

I've heard of such a legend!' I gasped. 'A child descended from a union between Christ and Mary Magda

Besides, we were fifteen, and we couldn't get our feelings to match up with our brains. So we went with our feelings.

There are as many kinds of anger as there are of the sunsets with which they ought to end

Success starts with a Vision

Growing up I sometimes imagined that for Christ's return perhaps He would appear as 'Black Jesus' to white people and 'White Jesus' to black people just to screw with the racists.

Live life to the fullest or foolest.

No matter how much we try to keep things in order, life seems determined to scatter Legos under our bare feet.

God has the key to open the heart of every soul.

And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.

[Nicodemus] 'Magistra DeVega, can I ask for your help?'[DeVega] 'You can ask, ' she said with her usual calmness, 'but the clerics haven't developed a cure for death by idiotic leadership.

Diplomacy is the delicate weapon of the civilized warrior."- Hun, A. T.

To function efficiently, any group of people or employees must have faith in their leader."- Capt. Bligh(ret.)

A code is like love, it has created with clear intentions at the beginning, but it can get complicated.

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

We suffered for our art. You have to suffer for our art as well!

A gypsy girl approached Don Zana and Alfanhui and held out her tambourine. Don Zana said to her, 'You don't pay for art, kid.

I have made up my mind that I will never marry. I shall be wedded to my art.

Every gesture and every look he gives me takes me by surprise and causes my heart to stutter.

A painting is worth a thousand confused art-gallery visitors.

I grab the nearest lamppost when my knees threaten to give out, panting for breath as the words rip through me

When we step onto the bridge, Nathan turns and spreads his arms out wide. ‘Welcome to Pont des Arts, a.k.a. The Lock Bridge.

The boy took my sketchbook.

I head in the direction of the Eiffel Tower when I exit the alley, relieved to be out of the dark.

Artists are never appreciated at lunchtime, " Kelly mumbled as she stuffed her camera into her pocket.

There's a fine line between minimalism and not trying very hard.

I'm a Baroque person. More than Baroque, I'm a Rococo person. I don't draw straight lines.

Realism is criminal.

Your art…” I gaped at the field of white. “There was a lovely portrait of me—right there.”I get offended whenever art is damaged, especially if that art features me.

How important are the visual arts in our society? I feel strongly that the visual arts are of vast and incalculable importance. Of course I could be prejudiced. I am a visual art.

How can you read and talk at the same time?” I asked.“Well, I usually can’t, but neither the book nor the conversation is particularly intellectually challenging.

Reading every day keeps the brain dead sickness away.

Novels and gardens, " she says. "I like to move from plot to plot.

I’ve lowered my character with a great deal of unwholesome reading material.

If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it

I know, Ezra, that I tend to be a bit impulsive at times, but it all seems so reasonable at the time I do these things, and so unreasonable when everyone looks back at what happened and what I did

Seeing what someone's reading is like seeing the first derivative of their thinking.

I always find that after reading books written by Jane Austen that I speak much more properly, at least for a while.

I was behind, but now I'm below. Hopefully, they'll have books wherever I go...

I think I'm going through a bit of ADD. I'm reading 3 books simultaneously and it's something that I don't recommend. It's like watching TV with two others who keep changing the channels...

I just prefer my fiction with more teeth.