Humor Quotes

I didn't want to do it, ' Kiala said. 'The universe just kind of conspired to force me to make a fool of myself. It does that quite a lot, actually.

Man is conceived in sin and born in corruption and he passeth from the stink of the didie to the stench of the shroud. There is always something(All The King's Men)

I grew up once, I decided never to do it again

The stalker, meanwhile, stepped into the road. Didn’t even check for traffic. There wasn’t any, but something told me this was lucky for traffic rather than the stalker.

I like Dancing of Indian girls more than my parents’ prayers . Because they dance with love and passion . But my parents just say their prayers because they got used to it .

If everyone wants to be somebody, I want to be somebody else

Laughter is the hand of God on the shoulder of a troubled world.

Smartass Disciple: Master, do you really believe in the second chance?Master of Stupidity: That supports the basis of lost-then-found concept.

It's impossible to walk through solid rock... You have to walk between the molecules that make up the rock.

Lend me your ears and you can borrow my mind

All the world is queer save thee and me, and even thou art a little queer.

Raise a smile and lower stress

We're on a planet, relax!

Free your mind from routine, keep your brain somewhere else

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.' But eating too many, is quite enough-plenty. And you'll have to go see the good doc anyway.

Theology, philosophy, metaphysics, and quantum physics are merely ways for God to have his smart people believe in him

Would Crazy Horse have spent this much to remodel a kitchen?

What is humor?' one of their professors had posed, and he had answered, ''nondangerous, unexpectedly inappropriate juxtaposition.

After a dream like that, you're grateful that it was just a dream, that no matter how bad your actual life, it couldn't be worse than your dream life.

Pay attention to me.

People say everybody has a book inside them, so why not make your life a great story?

When the mind is free, magic happens.

You can change your mind, don't let your mind change you

Sometimes the only way to succeed is to fail backwards

Giving is the only way of taking part

If those at your top are weak, your bottom will be rotten

If one million of you give assent to the one thousand who participate in the murder of a child, then one million of you are a million times guilty.

No crime is a means to an end. No crime can be rationalized.

If one thousand of you participate in the murder of one child, then one thousand of you are a thousand times guilty.

What's the use of complaining about something you have no intentions of changing it?

My ship came in, then it sank!

If your dreams seem to be drifting away, wake up!

If your treated like a puppet find a new ball of string

You’re still a little shy, I see, the wizard noted. I think if you ignore evil, my friend, it tends to grow stronger. (Quinhelm, the wizard - from BRIGGEN)

Staring is half the victory in love.

What I know definitively about life at this age … is absolutely nothing.

For those who like that sort of thing, " said Miss Brodie in her best Edinburgh voice, "That is the sort of thing they like.

Integrity is a bugger, it really is. Lying can get you into difficulties, but to really wind up in the crappers try telling nothing but the truth.

A women can run, hide, play and have fun but she will shine far better when she just smiles without none.

Brilliance is impossible without a touch of insanity.

Whatever demon invented stiletto-heeled boots should roast in hell...

Don't ever trust men with good intentions. They'll always disappoint you."Leo

If humor and rumor are needed more than faith and truth, then it tells me something about the kind of world we live today.

I believe that ignorance is the root of all evil.And that no one knows the truth.

Dance in the rain, follow the path of lovely lanes, you are what you always wanted to be, so chill out, dear friend!

Despite his money and his looks and all the good-on-paper attributes he possessed, he was not a reader, and, well, let's just say that is the sort of nonsense up with which we will not put.

What you see is what you see

Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it.

Smartass Disciple: Why we shouldn’t judge others? Master of Stupidity: Don’t! Unless you are paid for it.

Smartass Disciple: If there were two masters, which one should I listen to?Master of Stupidity: Use the ears to the one who looks so stupid, eyes to else.