Comedy Quotes
It is a sign of immaturity to believe that being older than someone (automatically) makes you more (mentally) mature than them.
Stolen oranges also have Vitamin C. Likewise, a stolen salmon, too, has omega-3 fatty acids.
The real purpose of the opposition is to minimize the amount of money the ruling party will have stolen from the people at the end of its term.
A deep breath is a technique with which we minimize the number of instances where we say what we do not mean … or what we really think.
Walking through life, we spend most of our energy choosing the right shoes.
What can you answer? Now be careful, don’t arouse my spite, Or with my slipper I’ll take you napping, faces slappingLeft and right.
Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same.
Even choosing the perfect dinner wine loses its earth-shattering importance if your guests happen to be cannibals, and you, the unsuspecting entree.
Growing up I sometimes imagined that for Christ's return perhaps He would appear as 'Black Jesus' to white people and 'White Jesus' to black people just to screw with the racists.
The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it...try to fake three laughs in an hour -- ha ha ha ha ha -- they'll take you away, man. You can't.
Most of the other visitors were chained to their audio guides, looking only at what their little headsets told them was worth seeing.
I'm a Baroque person. More than Baroque, I'm a Rococo person. I don't draw straight lines.
France, stop throwing awards at me! I have so many already, give them to people who need them.
Quiet, � she hissed at me, her voice shockingly aggressive for such a small person. “Otherwise, I’ll shut you up myself.
Of course they were eaten, � he retorted, his eyes flashing in cold humour. “Trolls generally aren’t exactly renowned for being vegetarians.
Idiots are of two kinds: those who try to be smart and those who think they are smart.
The hardest part about walking away from someone is the part where you realize that, no matter how slowly you go, they will never run after you.
There is this common notion that people are shallow and ignorant until they go out and see the world. I, on the other hand, went out and in comparison realized I was in pretty good standing.
Angels are good not simply because they see bad as bad, but also because they see bad as corny.
Be careful not to appear obsessively intellectual. When intelligence fills up, it overflows a parody.
The human comedy is always tragic, but since its ingredients are always the same—dupe, fox, straight, like burlesque skits—the repetition through the ages is comedy.
Seriousness is too boring to the playful human condition. A heart of stone that has a long face can never express love.
Oh, I forgot to tell you the rest of it—he’s a widower now, so they can ride off together into the sunset, their wedding rings glinting.
Thou mayest choose an helpmeet, " said the King to me.An helpmeet? What the great googly-moogly was that?
Most of a husband’s life is spent in doing research on his wife.
That woman, " Grimm said quietly, "drives me quite insane."Kettle grunted. "Why'd you marry her, then?
Guess it's high time we add the 8th vow in marriage promising that we shall spend time with our husband or wife more than with social networking sites!
In real life, couples bond and war over a million different things. The causes of divorce are like beautiful, unique snowflakes.
Do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your wife back, your dog back and your job back.
The online music magazine Pitchfork once wrote that I would collaborate with anyone for a bag of Doritos.