Mark Twain Quotes
There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land (and work) again after a cheerful, careless voyage.
There are no standards of taste in wine... Each man's own taste is the standard, and a majority vote cannot decide for him or in any slightest degree affect the supremacy of his own standard.
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.
and so when I couldn't stand it no longer, I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied.
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.
In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.
Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
To forget pain is to be painless; to forget care is to be rid of it; to go abroad is to accomplish both.
The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.
The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.
Education that consists in learning things and not the meaning of them is feeding upon the husks and not the corn
Nothing agrees with me. If I drink coffee, it gives me dyspepsia; if I drink wine, it gives me the gout; if I go to church, it gives me dysentery.
I do see that there is an argument against suicide: the grief of the worshipers left behind, the awful famine in their hearts, these are too costly terms for the release.
Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human race, is more dreaded than wolves and death.
An occultation of Venus is not half so difficult as an eclipse of the sun, but because it comes seldom the world thinks it's a grand thing.
Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.
The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'
Look at you in war...There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Every citizen of the republic ought to consider himself an unofficial policeman, and keep unsalaried watch and ward over the laws and their execution.
For all the talk you hear about knowledge being such a wonderful thing, instinct is worth forty of it for real unerringness.
The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting
Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.
It will take mind and memory months and possibly years to gather together the details, and thus learn and know the whole extent of the loss.
All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
