Kathy Griffin Quotes

No, I love Montreal... I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.

I also love Mole, the unsung hero of reality programming.

I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.

I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun.

I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.

That's what I loved about Temptation Island. I don't even know why they did it.

There's one thing that's really great about waking up early, and it's not jogging or greeting the day - it's just that that's when they make doughnuts.

Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand.

I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style.

Always and Forever is a Grandmothers love

I have a no-apology policy.

Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true.

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.

When I see you, I smile. When I touch you, I feel you. When I kiss you, I love you!

So I wonder if anything should ever be off limits.

If you see me on Friday, you'll see different material on Saturday night.

It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.

I prefer being known for my stand-up because I write it. I love being an actor, and saying other people's words is great. But then, when I do stand-up, I love getting my own point of view out there.

A lot of celebrities, especially when you're talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them.

I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.

The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.

Food is my thing, I do not smoke or drink, so food is my vice.

I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road for months at a time.

I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It's definitely rated R.

I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at.

That's life when you're on the D-list.

I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography.

I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.

I prefer big Oprah. I know Oprah wants to be skinny Oprah, but her head is too gigantic to fit on a skinny body. She has to accept that, like Kirstie Alley, she was meant to be... ahm... voluptuous!

I did feel very sexy and desirable. Those prisoners looked at me like no man ever did. I don't care how many people they killed.

Well, Jon Hamm isn't a real celebrity.

I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly.

So yes, I say things I regret constantly, and I just can't help it.

A lot of stars don't have a sense of humor.

The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don't know they are.

My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America's great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts.

Oh, I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly. But that's just part of the deal. I'm not really sure what's going to come out of my mouth.

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.

I do feel I'm kind of a magnet for crazy, and if there isn't enough crazy, I will insert myself in a situation that I feel has comedy potential.

I certainly immerse myself in as many crazy Hollywood events as I can because you never know where you can pick up material.

Remember, folks, I am a comedian, not a journalist.

When I'm going to see a comedian, I don't want to see them hold back, and when I'm reading a book, I don't want to hear an abridged version.

Pretty much everywhere I go, I'm pretty much thinking I'm going to be bounced. I am still the outsider who snuck into the party. I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.

I'm saying that she (Whitney Houston) looks great for a singer... the way Courtney Love is a singer.

It was sweaty Whitney (Houston) in Central Park. She knew that park pretty well. Every bush!

To give up my job as a temp and actually make a living doing comedy, it was staggering.

My act has always reflected what's going on in my life.

I'm a female in comedy, so of course I want there to be more women on 'SNL', and women of color.

I'm not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men.