Alexander Woollcott Quotes

All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.

There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.

It comes from the likes of you! Take what you can get! Grab the chances as they come along! Act in hallways! Sing in doorways! Dance in cellars!

The two oldest professions in the world — ruined by amateurs.

All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work. We are supposed to work it.

Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.

At 83, George Bernard Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's.

To all things clergic I am allergic.

One listens to one's lawyer prattle on as long as one can stand it and then signs where indicated.

A hick town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn't go.

The scenery in the play was beautiful, but the actors got in front of it.

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm.

His huff arrived and he departed in it.

Reading Proust is like bathing in someone else's dirty water.

She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers.

Germany was the cause of Hitler as much as Chicago is responsible for the Chicago Tribune.

A broker is a man who runs your fortune into a shoestring.

Mrs. Patrick Cambell is an aged British battleship sinking rapidly and firing every available gun on her rescuers.

Today just might be the best day to start seriously thinking about quitting smoking.

Los Angeles is seven suburbs in search of a city.

You haven't lived until you died in New York.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with Oscar Levant that a miracle can't fix.

Babies in silk hats playing with dynamite.

There's nothing wrong with Oscar Levant - nothing a miracle won't cure.

Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

A hick town is one in which there is no place to go where you shouldn't be.

All the things I really like to do are either immoral illegal or fattening.

Always a godfather - never a god!