Al Barry Quotes

Print neatly. That's the kind of advice that the IRS considers a "dynamite" tax tip. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat, they're useless.

Dogs do not grasp the concept of house cleaning.

The Democrats believe that if God did not want them to raise taxes, He would not have created the Internal Revenue Service.

I’ve noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell you the next stage is worse.

Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really.

What I like best about the telephone is that it keeps you in touch with people, particularly people who want to sell you magazine subscriptions in the middle of the night.

Don't emphasise money if you don't have much; be happy

Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.

The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So thanks to me you're all standing on land." (Pirates, its a good thing they're idiots)

In my experience, you run into trouble when you ask a group of beer-drinking men to perform any task more complex than remembering not to light the filter ends of cigarettes.

He could even think about how fast he was thinking about things.

I think if you use Twitter and social media as your main source of information you are an idiot, but I think most people who use it know better, so I kind of enjoy it.

Earnest is our dog. She senses instantly that something is wrong, and guided by that timeless and unerring nurturing instinct that all female dogs have, she tries to lick my ears off.

The porpoises said hello to Molly. She told them all her teeth were green.

Like all writers, my greatest inspiration, my ultimate muse, is a deadline.

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.

As a taxpayer, you are required to be fully in compliance with the United States Tax Code, which is currently the size and weight of the Budweiser Clydesdales.

This (America) is a land of rich diversity, from the towering skyscrapers of Manhatan all the way to the towering mounds of garbage piled up next to the towering skyscrapers of Manhattan.

Technically, Windows is an "operating system," which means that it supplies your computer with the basic commands that it needs to suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, stop operating.

[There is] a breed of fashion models

A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call.

We all have common emotions. And, and our experiences may not be all common but the emotions sure are.

The only reason we find structure in stories is because it's there naturally in human interaction, and in the way that people tell stories.

We don’t create a fantasy world to escape reality, we create it to be able to stay. I believe we have always done this, used images to stand and understand what otherwise would be intolerable.

I go to work the minute I open my eyes.

Love will make a way out of no way

Jesse ain't running nothin' but his mouth.

We are all great beings... I think people have lost the sense of that.

All I ever wanted to be was a Ninja... Tong from Kickboxer, Sagat from Street Fighter.

No matter how hard you're going, you can always go harder.

I fantasize about LeBron's ability. He is the best player I have ever seen at this age.

I try not to manipulate reality... What will happen, will happen. Let things be themselves.

I like the work hanging free in the frame. I don't like too much frame around it but I like a little breathing space around the piece.

I like working late at night and then going into the house and sitting down and watching a movie and then going to sleep.

It is very difficult to be a hero without an audience, although, in a sense, we are each the hero of a peculiar, half-ruined film called our life.

I like Cilantro, but you don't have to.

Buddha, much like everyone else has good and bad days.

Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash.

We always talk about being a spark and swinging the momentum of the game and that swung it.

I've always played for the acceptance of my godfather (Willie Mays) and father (Bobby Bonds).

Cantona's expression speaking the whole French dictionary without saying a word.

It slid away from his left boot which was poised with the trigger cocked

If the reader cares, I dont think it matters so much whether your hero is in fact an anti-hero.

The challenge to the improvisor is to get permanence into his spontaneity. The challenge to the composer is to get spontaneity into his permanence.

Man's best friend is a really good plan!

I understand Jacqueline Kennedy has redone the White House in eighteenth-century style. Why, then, I'd fit in perfectly.

You've got to lie to stay halfway interested in yourself.

My stories do have plot. They're not just scattered language; they're controlled, toward an end.